Bicycle Diaries: Bike-curious

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and auto-erotic

Talk about obsessions. In recent weeks the blogosphere has been following the trial & tribulation of one horny Scotsman, Robert Stewart. It seems he enjoys getting off with his favorite means of alternative transportation: a bike.

In court last month, he pleaded guilty for breach of the peace. He was caught having sex with his bike by two maids who had come into his Ayr hotel room to change the sheets. Although he won't be serving any jail time, his name has been added to the UK's Violent and Sex Offender Register. Not that I'm a fan of bike fetishes but isn't this a travesty? When did it become illegal in the UK to have sex with inanimate objects in the privacy of your hotel room?

Meanwhile in Canada, Sandy Wong has been convicted of repeated acts of public indecency. It seems he enjoys jerking off on expensive, new cars ... in public. Over the last year, he's been arrested three separate times for skinning the monkey on the hoods of a Mini Cooper and a $50,000 BMW sedan, which was on display at an auto show. According to a psychiatrist, Wong claims to be especially attracted to the roof tops of BMWs because they're curved like a woman's body; the sex appeal - it felt good.

The Smoking Gun
reports that Wong also gets aroused by such classic models as the 1967 Camaro, 1955 Chevy Bel Air and the 1991 Buick Century. Wong has been sentenced to two years probation and 90 days in jail (which he has previously served). He's also been ordered to follow a strict curfew for the length of his probation.

No word yet on whether the BMW or the Mini will file for restraining orders.

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