Keep to the left...
Miles Kington, who died in 2008, wrote humorous columns for London's The Independent. A fine example is his Old country wisdom can put a spoke in your wheel which appeared in 1997. In it he reported what you could learn about bikes at your local pub:
If you see a bull, then ride like hell.
Don't lock your bike where it will flood,
Or you'll find your saddle full of mud.
A spoke will carry a bicycle wheel,
But it ain't no match for an old cow heel
Hear the empty pint pot sound,
Means it's somebody else's round.
One Mars bar
Won't get you far
You'll get more cheer
From a pint of beer.